One FBI Agent, a Conman, and a Baby
by Phantom Creedy Lover
Summary: Threeshot. Peter and Neal are forced to take in an abandoned baby during a case, and are left on their own with it when Elizabeth leaves on a business trip. The misadventure of a lifetime begins.


**A/N: Suspension of belief is needed for this fic, just because of the way they get to keep the baby for however long. I'm aware it would go right to social services or the like in the real world.**

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"Freeze! FB… … I?"

Neal Caffrey poked his head around his partner, Peter Burke's back. Peter was never the one to just stop announcing himself when it came to finding something that needed to be found. In this case, it was some rare collection of paintings that some felon had stolen. Neal was pretty damn envious of the guy's skill so far, but now he was a tad nervous about the way Peter had reacted. He was never one to be taken aback like that. They were in some storage depot, and had just opened the compartment they had been led to. "What's going on?" And then he saw what had caused Peter to stop in his tracks, and was genuinely just as surprised.

The compartment was empty completely- except for the little baby in a carseat, who was now crying from any combination of the loud noise, the unexpected light that had filtered in, or the fact that Peter had a gun trained on it, right in the middle of the floor.

Peter snapped out of his daze for a second and scrambled to put his gun back.

While Neal was just as surprised as Peter was, he still waited for what he knew what was coming from Peter. Sure enough, there it was. After the gun was put away, Peter's hands immediately went to his hips, his lower jaw jutted out, and he pursed his lips. Neal found it a little pathetic he had seen that exact motion coming, but there were more important things that had just literally shown up to deal with.

"That's a baby." Peter told Neal after a moment.

"I see." Neal raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Why is there a baby where those paintings should be?" Peter asked.

Neal frowned. "Well, I don't know, Peter. Maybe we should ask it." He replied matter of factly. Once again, he saw Peter's lips pursing tighter before the action even happened. He squared his own shoulders, then scooted around Peter and into the unit.

"No, Neal! What- Ugh." Peter muttered behind him.

Neal did a quick sweep around the storage unit to make sure they weren't missing anything before slowly making his way over to the baby. "Hi there! What are you doing here, Cutie Pie?" He asked, lifting the baby gently. He looked back at the entrance, seeing Peter gawking at him, and Jones and Diana, who had just arrived, looked like they weren't sure what to think. He cradled the baby and bounced him ever so slightly in his arms, and it stopped crying after a few moments. Satisfied he had taken care of that part, Neal made his way back over to Peter. "Well, how are we gonna handle this one?"

"Can we see why there's a baby where the art should be first?" Jones interjected.

"We'll let you know when we know." Peter replied. "Neal, you wanna hold onto it 'til the medics get here?"

"The baby isn't an 'it', Peter." Neal argued.

"Alright, Smart Guy, you tell us what the baby is." Peter countered.

"Why? You can't?" Neal challenged.

"Oh, for the love of God, you two!" Diana elbowed her way between them, then took the baby from Neal, cradling it in her arms for a moment before she turned around. She moved part of the blanket aside, then replaced it and turned back around. "It's a boy. Happy?" She took her own turn to bounce the baby again. "So, what are we gonna do about this one, Boss?" She asked. She smiled softly when the baby smiled up at her. "Hi, Baby Boy. Hi!"

Peter watched her for a moment. "We're gonna take 'em to the nearest hospital and get back to work." Peter replied.

"You sure that's a good idea, Peter? Our guy has connections in a buncha hospitals that we don't know about. If this little guy's involved, you wanna risk him?"

"Good point…" Peter replied. "Alright, who can take him in, then?"

A few moments of silence passed, until Neal straightened out. "I can."

Peter frowned. "That means that child would be around Mozzie multiple times. _No_."

"I was thinking more of it being temporary so Mozzie wouldn't be an issue and June could help."

"You really think Mozzie could go a couple of days without checking in on you these days?" Peter replied.

Neal hesitated. "… Point taken." He replied, then looked at Jones and Diana, who shook their heads. "Well Peter, since we all have 'no's, that leaves us with you."

Peter did his usual disapproving frown in Neal's direction, then looked at the others, who were looking at him expectantly, then shrugged in agreement as well as approval. He stared at them, then let out a short laugh, before a rather profound "No,"

"But why not? Look, you're the best bet. You and Elizabeth run a stable house, you would know people who are trustworthy and could watch him when you're working." Diana replied. "Besides, it could be for a really short time, since we need to get the kid's blood tested or see if it's missing and all that." Diana argued.

Peter looked from Diana to the boy, then to Neal. "I'm not the best with... babies. Why do you think El and I don't have one?"

Neal didn't look convinced. After he glared, he transitioned smoothly into a puppy face aimed at Peter.

Peter gawked at him for a moment, and then, as he always did, broke at the face alone. He hated when he did that. "If we can't find a match or no one else steps up, I'll talk to El."

The others nodded.

Nothing came up in any of the searches during the following hours as far as the missing person search went. They just found the baby's roots. It was apparently orphaned two years ago, but there was little to no information of foster parents. Now they were lead-less- both case and baby-wise. The Burkes took in the baby soon after, and so, the greatest misadventure of their lives began.


End file.
